"What is it that PBR has put in your head this time?" I asked matter of factly.

Duke answered, "You know my Momma's brother Stubby who lives east of town. Well, he said we could go out to his place and bust some Arkansas Green Heads. He's got a 40 acre swamp in the middle of some soy bean fields, and he told me how to get our limit in less than 30 minutes. All he wants is some ducks so he can make up a pot of his duck gumbo"

As Jeb started to rack the balls, he told Duke, "You know everything is an ice cube now. It's been colder than a witch's tit doin' push ups in the snow with a brass bra on the last two weeks. Even the river is froze up. Them ducks that fly over here will just head to Louisiana when they see they ain't gonna be able to light."

Duke casually responded, "Just leave it to me, the Duck Master. Uncle Stubby said he's got some dynamite he kept after the accident with the road department, and we can use it to bust up some ice next to the blind on the levee. He said the ducks are so tired from flyin' around here they will light every time they see open water. We don't even have to put out dekes or call, which is a good thing since Rob will be with us! And by the way Rob, you think that fancy German huntin' dog you bought last year will be able to fetch 'em for us. What is that thing called, a Weinermiser or somethin'?"

"That's a Weimaraner, you numb skull! I responded. "Ol' Blue has been retrieving the heck out of the quail, so I don't know why he wouldn't run across the ice and grab our ducks for us. Maybe he won't try to do the humpty dance on Jeb like he always does since it's so cold. Other than that, he should do fine."

"If you would get that dog fixed, he'd quit doin' that to me. Heck, I would even chip in on the vet bill!" said Jeb.

"By the way dudes, we're gonna need to take a wheeler to the swamp. Ever since I buried the Hogg up in his field last spring, he made me promise never to get my truck off the road on his property again."

"Mine's laid up with some bad gas I got at the Grub and Go truck stop last week" I said. "Jeb, didn't you get a new three wheeler the other day?"

"Ya!' Jeb answered. "I got a $150 bonus at the Bread Basket Funeral Home this Christmas and bought me a wheeler with it at Turbo's Pawn Shop. It ain't got no brakes, clangs around in second gear, and smokes a bit if I've been runnin' it more than 10 minutes. But other than that, it runs fine!"

"Then let's plan on meetin' around 4:30 in the mornin' at the "Grub and Go", get a bite to eat, throw Jeb's wheeler in the Hogg, and head down to Uncle Stubby's place." said Duke. That should get us to the swamp as the sun is comin' up so we can see what we're doin' when we blast a hole in the ice."

When we met at the truck stop the next morning, we all got us an order of salsa scrabbled eggs, some sausage gravy and biscuits, several cups of coffee, and then ate the last three Rolaids Jeb had in his pocket. When we got outside, Duke asked, "Jeb, I see your wheeler, but where is your Chevy Luv?"

Turns out Rob is not the only one to get some bad gas here. I couldn't get the sucker started this mornin', so I just drove the wheeler here from my place. Nearly froze my watoozy off! When I got here I thought about hoppin' in Rob's truck an' seein' what ol' Blue was up to."

"My dog has better standards than that!" I said. "Now lets load our gear, the wheeler, and ol' Blue into the Hogg and hit the road"

When we got to Uncle Stubby's soy bean fields, we got out of the truck, pulled the 3 wheeler out of the wooden side-step bed, grabbed our shotguns and shells, and watched Jeb as he cussed his new purchase every time he pulled the starting rope. "Thing started right up this mornin'. I don't know what the heck is wrong with it now!"

"Get out of the way and let a real man try!" said Duke.

After the wheeler started on Duke's first pull, I leaned over to Jeb and said, "You know he's gonna get some mileage out of that one, and I'm damn glad he's gonna be doggin' you instead of me."

Then Duke looked over at Jeb and said, "Just keep hangin' with me boy, an' maybe you'll learn somethin! Here in just a bit, you are fixin' to learn what it takes to bust some ducks when most duck hunters are shiverin' in their beds and cryin' to momma. Now ya'll hop on and I'll chauffeur ya'll to the blind."

So I hopped on the back seat behind Duke, Jeb sat on the back rack, and we made our way to the frozen swamp as Blue ran beside us.

We parked Jeb's wheeler about 30 yards from the blind and put some camo netting over it that was in the brush at the dead end. When we crawled into the blind, there were three sticks of dynamite with 15 inch fuses in a bucket sitting on the plank board bench.

"The sun's up enough for us to see where to toss the TNT" said Duke as he reached in his pocket for the lighter. "Get ready to cover your ears!"

When Duke lit the fuse, he quickly tossed it in the frozen swamp in front of us and them screamed "Get back here Blue!" I was almost speechless as we watched Blue slip and slide on the ice to retrieve the dynamite. When Blue grabbed the TNT and headed our way, there was still a good bit of fuse left.

"If he gets too close I'm gonna bust him!" said Duke as we all started to holler at Blue and empty our guns into the air and on the ice around him.

Frightened by the steel skipping on the ice and over his head, Blue slipped his way to the levee and hid up under the camo netting that draped Jeb's 3 wheeler with the dynamite still in his mouth. The next thing we heard was a yelp, which must have been a result of the fire from the fuse hitting his face, and Blue came busting out from under the wheeler and over the other side of the levee. Five seconds later, there was an awful explosion and pieces of Jeb's wheeler were strewn about the ice.

"Rob, I guess you better grab ol' Blue before I toss out this next stick" said Duke. I sat there nodding accordingly, and Jeb just kept softly repeating "My wheeler. My wheeler. My wheeler..."

"Easy come, easy go Jeb!" said Duke. "Now let's bust some ice and bust some mallards." As he started to light the next stick, I told them I was going to the other side of the levee and look for Blue. When I topped the edge of the levee, I could see Blue high-tailing it through the harvested bean fields, so I just ducked and waited for the blast.

After the initial 'Boom,' there was silence. Then we were slowly bombarded by ice shrapnel. "Man, what a hole!" yelled Duke. "One more blast and we are on our way to duck heaven!" So Duke tossed the last stick into the frozen swamp and finished clearing the hole out quite well. Sure enough, 10 minutes later we had ducks falling from the sky right into our hole. They came in so fast Duke, Jeb and I had our limit of green heads and gadwalls in 20 minutes.

"Now ya'll know the rule!" Duke said as we were walking to his truck. "He who blasts the hole out plucks no ducks."

"We ain't got a problem with that!" Jeb and I exclaimed. "As long as you know the other rule. He who plucks no ducks eats no ducks!"